There once was a time when I would put fillings/toppings on my malt loaf. I used to care. I would dine on the malt and savor the loaf. I even used to cut it up into a few manageable slices. Now I just grab the brick and chow it down. No time for niceties, just down to business and malt. Like a hungry Alan Sugar.

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That was the spirit of this ride. I didn’t eat the bike, I just munched on down on some after work miles.

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A frickin bike with a frickin laser beam attached to its head

Road cycling may not be as fun as mountain biking but it’s a hell of a lot easier to fit into the day. You are soon down to business. Riding straight from the door and putting a few miles in soon gets you out to some lovely places too. Mountain biking is just bear faff fam.

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Sexy naked trees

I pedaled up the hill for a scenic loop around the finest stuffy upper-middle-class neighbourhoods Sheffield has to offer. I was offered glimpses of the sunset over the hill and got up close and personal with some naked spring trees. A couple of hours of tranquillity in perfect spring weather.

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All in all, another successful day in the bicycle office with my bum on the saddle office. My door is always open (not an anus joke).

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