There once was a time when I would put fillings/toppings on my malt loaf. I used to care. I would dine on the malt and savor the loaf. I even used to cut it up into a few manageable slices. Now I just grab the brick and chow it down. No time for niceties, just down to business and malt. Like a hungry Alan Sugar.


That was the spirit of this ride. I didn’t eat the bike, I just munched on down on some after work miles.

A frickin bike with a frickin laser beam attached to its head

Road cycling may not be as fun as mountain biking but it’s a hell of a lot easier to fit into the day. You are soon down to business. Riding straight from the door and putting a few miles in soon gets you out to some lovely places too. Mountain biking is just bear faff fam.

Sexy naked trees

I pedaled up the hill for a scenic loop around the finest stuffy upper-middle-class neighbourhoods Sheffield has to offer. I was offered glimpses of the sunset over the hill and got up close and personal with some naked spring trees. A couple of hours of tranquillity in perfect spring weather.


All in all, another successful day in the bicycle office with my bum on the saddle office. My door is always open (not an anus joke).